I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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