That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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