I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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