Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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