I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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