you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
