He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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