cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
