I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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