no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
