Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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