why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
