yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
