they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
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