Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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