My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
