I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
