I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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