I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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