hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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