she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
