I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
