Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can I color on your dick again?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
