you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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