Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
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Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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