Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You ruined the universe
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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