Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
