Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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