you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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