she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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