Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
