can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize