i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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