sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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