yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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