You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
