oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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