Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
