im having a threesome with these popsicles
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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