I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
