yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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