I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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