i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
