Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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