i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize