conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize