i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
