But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
