Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
