he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
