school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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