My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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