it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
