Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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